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Monday 23 April 2012

Shakespearean Flash - 'Romeo and Juliet' By Alan Crossan (And William Shakespeare)

JULIET: Oh Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

ROMEO: I told ye I wis going doon the pub wi ma mates to watch the fitba. The Hoops versus Verona in the Europa league... Oh unlucky wee man, great effort son.

JULIET: What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet;

ROMEO: Whit wis that? Look I cannae hear ye. Its bouncing in here. I’ll gie ye a phone back in a bit eh? Haud on... Aye mate another pint will do nicely... Hello. Are ye still there?

JULIET: My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words. Of that tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound: Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?

ROMEO: Yaaasssss!

JULIET: If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully. Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won, I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay, So thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world.

ROMEO: Ya beauty whit a goal!

JULIET: Romance is...

ROMEO: I’m sorry I need to go. My battery is just about....

ROMEO & JULIET: Dead

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