'Sorted!!' by Kate Rawding

“Oh yea oh yea, I won, I won. See I told you I could win it, you didn’t believe me did you Tom? Buddy started licking Alfie’s face, trying to remove any last traces of cheesy wotsits. “You think you’re the best at everything, but you haven’t won any race’s have you. And I didn’t cheat; you can ask Mr Leonard if you like. Mum what did Mrs Lawry mean when she said ‘will the parents please refrain, from using inappropriate language’?”

“Well, it means, do not swear.”

“Mum! Why would they swear at a school race?”

“Because they might get over enthusiastic; caught up in all the excitement, Alf.”

“And why, was Matthew’s dad running with him, he kept shouting ‘come on Matthew, second place is no place.”

“He was just encouraging Matthew.”

“I’d like it if dad could come and watch me; he never comes to anything at school.

Is that cos I’ve got ADHD? He gets really cross sometimes; but I did my best today. I didn’t even get sidetracked, not even when that dog started joining in. 

Why were you telling Tom about Murray? And who’s Benny Hill? What’s funny about Murray running round in circles and Mr Leonard chasing him? It wasn’t about Murray, mum, it was about me.”

“Well Alf, I really am proud of you!!!  I just keep seeing cheeky Murray in his sanguine shirt running long after the race had finished and the teacher trying to catch him!”

“Did they give you a medal Alf? Or any extra house points?”

“No, they didn’t give me anything; well apart from Percy the parrot, for perseverance! I get to keep him for the weekend. Can we take him to the park and play footy tomorrow?” 

“If it’s dry; well matey how about battered sausage and chips for tea, from the chippy; for my superstar son?”

“Can I have a panda pop too?”